Choosing a School

Why We Chose Boarding Rather than Day School

Deciding whether to send your child to boarding school instead of day school is a decision most of us parents make early on in the private school search process. Here is our story. I taught in day schools and was a deputy director of one of them. Nancy and I choose to send both daughters to boarding schools for the reasons I discuss below. I hope that our experience will help to inform you as you make this critical decision about which kind of private school will be best for your child.

At the time, we were considering sending our children to private schools, and we were fortunate to live in an area with good schools. My late wife, Nancy, indeed graduated from the local high school. In fact, she was chair of the local school board when we decided to explore other options for our daughters' schooling. So it wasn't the schools per se which were the issue. Four factors shaped our decision.

The high school curriculum was solid. The teachers were experienced and competent. The school was small as high schools go, with a student population of 400 students in grades 7 through 12. There were football and basketball teams, a highly-acclaimed marching band and a couple of clubs. That, however, was what made us want more for our daughters. We wanted them to read five Shakespeare plays a year. Not just the one play a year

Part of the fun of parenting is that there is no owner's manual issued when your child is born. You and I buy cars, televisions, and computers with reams of documentation. But nothing came with your daughter or mine. You had to rely on your instincts, judgment, and common sense in order to raise her to become the young adult who now is poised to head off on a great adventure, namely, going off to boarding school.

Your daughter is unique. So are boarding schools. While no two schools are alike, they all share a common aim: to educate your daughter academically, spiritually, and athletically. They strive to build on the solid foundation which you have so lovingly laid over these past fourteen or fifteen years. Now it is time to let her go and advance and grow in this next important stage of her maturation.

Still, all of us parents approach the process of finding the right school with more than a little trepidation. Questions keep popping up. Some questions even nag a bit.

"How do I know which boarding school is the best one for her?"

"How can I compare schools that all seem so wonderful yet are so different?"

"How do I know that she will be prepared properly for college work?"

"Will the school see the potential which I see in my daughter or will she be just another child occupying a place?"

Take a deep breath. Trust your instincts.

As you begin to refine your boarding school search, you will find yourself circling back to identify the schools that offer the programs your child wants and needs. Don't forget to discuss your wants and needs with your child. She needs to buy into the idea of going off to boarding school. That way, you will end up with a child who is enthusiastic about going to private school and feels involved in the decision-making process. It will be her idea. Choose your time wisely for these essential conversations. Be an active listener. Avoid jumping in as she expresses her thoughts. Choose a relaxed, informal setting for this important conversation. Chatting with your daughter while out shopping or driving around town will be a much less confrontational experience for her than having a formal discussion.

Unlike the limited options you will find in most public schools these days, private schools offer a rich array of programs. Let's look at a few.

Foreign languages

Mandarin, Spanish, French and Italian are the most common languages offered in private schools. You will find these most often at the high school level, but they are increasingly common in the primary grades. If you want to kick it up a notch, several private schools teach everything in French, German, and Hebrew, for example. Review the curriculum section of school websites to determine which language courses they offer. You can find schools quickly by inputting "chinese language" as a search string on this site.

If you are thinking about sending your child off to boarding school, you should try to start your school search process as early as possible. Finding the right school takes time. The process itself is not difficult; however, it is time-consuming. For example, if you are considering getting your child into school for 10th grade, you should begin the process in the spring of 8th grade. Standardized admissions testing typically will occur in December of 9th grade. Most boarding schools have application deadlines at the end of January of his 9th grade. Schools send out acceptance letters in March of your child's 9th-grade year.

Many parents think that they will have plenty of time to get everything done, but the truth is that the 18-month time frame that I am recommending flies by very quickly. Before you know it, the application deadline is around the corner. With that in mind, let's review why I feel that you need 18 months for your school search.

1. You need time to visit the schools.

Visiting schools is time-consuming. It is not enough to visit the schools virtually, although if you live abroad, that might be the only viable way of visiting schools. You must experience the school. You need to use your eyes and ears to help decide whether your child will be happy there for the next three years. Possibly four if he stays for a PG year. You wouldn't buy a piece of real

Is online learning not working for you and your son? Are you concerned about his missing out on enrichment and other activities? During these unsettling times when the pandemic keeps reappearing, when you thought it had abated, maybe boarding school is a good education solution for your child. But you will never know until you explore the idea thoroughly. Before beginning your research into boarding schools, tune out the negative things you read about boarding schools. After all, the media tends to focus on sensational stories that don't show boarding schools as they are. See for yourself. A quick call or an email is all it takes to make an appointment for a visit. Cost is another consideration that keeps many parents from considering boarding school education. But boarding school may be more affordable than you think. That's because most schools offer very generous financial aid programs. Any boarding school's admissions staff will be too happy to explain how financial aid works.

Now that those considerations are out of the way, answer these questions to help you make the important decision about sending your child to a residential school.

1. Want to "stretch" your child?

If you are content with the status quo, boarding school is probably not a good idea. Why? Your child will embark on an incredible adventure by going to boarding school. She will be exposed to all kinds of new ideas and different points of view. She can select academic